Chocolonely

Akhir-akhir ini ga tau kenapa, I can't help but feeling so sad and down
Berasa pengen nangis setiap hari
Bukan berasa ding, tapi emang hampir tiap hari nangis
Rasanya pengen bikin waktu berhenti, atau skip tahun depan
Ga bersyukur banget ya jadi orang


Makan cokelat 70% chocolonely setengah batang juga ga membantu ningkatin endorfin
Yang ada malah bikin feeling lonely, all alone in the world


“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy


Pernah ga sih kamu ngerasa sepi yang parah banget sampe rasanya pengen dipeluk, sama siapapun?
Kata orangnya yang imannya lebih kuat, mungkin, sebabnya kerna lagi jauh sama Allah aja
Ya..it could be
Sholat juga sekedar sholat, akhir-akhir ini
Astaghfirullah..
Ntah lah, ya Allah, Zia lelah


Apa semua orang pasti ada di titik krisis kayak gini ya?
Ada yang bilang quarter life crisis
Mungkin itu core nya, tapi banyak hal lain yang jadi bumbunya
Terutama pms sih
Kenapa cwe selalu nyalahin pms
Ya mo gimana lagi, hormon ga bakal bohong sih

But I wish I can be with you and talk about all these random things in life all day all night

Read More

Dirgahayu 72

“I think we’ve been through a period where too many people have been given to understand that if they have a problem, it’s the government’s job to cope with it. ‘I have a problem, I’ll get a grant.’ ‘I’m homeless, the government must house me.’ They’re casting their problem on society. And, you know, there is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first. It’s our duty to look after ourselves and then, also to look after our neighbour. People have got the entitlements too much in mind, without the obligations. There’s no such thing as an entitlement unless someone has first met an obligation.” – Margaret Thatcher.

Side note:
On the independence day of Indonesia in 2018,
I'm writing the abstract of my thesis, editing the power point for the final presentation and revising the whole thesis
I believe it is not slavery by science,
but the freedom to shape your own future and be responsible for your own goal and choices you made in the past

Read More

Standard Brain Deviation

I think I'm going crazy


Which one is actually bigger?
The space of mind or the space of heart?
Or should I use volume instead of space?
But using three dimensions variables doesn't seem right


Now I understand how devastating being under stress and depression over a long time period is
It is understandable how years of period could lead to deviations in mental health


What exactly is happening in your brain when this kind of situation occurs?
Should I search in google?
No, I don't think I have enough energy to read it
No, I do have energy but not enough to maintain a short period of understanding medical text about synapses and hormone and everything
No, maybe I actually kind of aware what could be happening
Or it's just my assumption?
That I know
Many times, I could not rely on my memory


I don't even know why I'm talking about all of this


And this proves that I'm going crazy
Ability to talk shi*ty things
I mean, unimportant things
Sorry


If later on I come back to this post and found out that my assumption is not proven,
then I can just learn that I was, once, in the state of almost giving up on my healthy state of mind, and heart


Annyeong

Read More